Thursday, October 24, 2002
On a night unlike any other night
Arrgh, been saying that a lot. I feel it is the perfect word to describe how I am feeling since last night... It was my dear neighbour's 20th birthday. We went down to The Last Drop again to celebrate her birthday. We got there at about a quarter to 11.. He wasn't there yet.... I sat down with a drink and waited for the rest of the gang to appear. Arrgh.... I have been avoiding him for a couple of days...I don't know why... Perhaps I was trying to trick myself into not caring about him anymore...I guess I almost succeeded...Almost..
He sauntered in at twenty past 11. He looked dishevelled and pretty much half-dead. But still had the "look" about him.... The "look", cute nerd boy look... sigh... Hugged the birthday girl and basically started to work the room. He really can make everyone feel comfortable. Everyone... except for me...
I couldn't stand it anymore and went on the dance floor with Koz. Music was not one would call exceptional, but it will do just to get me away from him. But....after a while, he came over and danced with us. He seriously have a particular way of dancing that I guess is very "special". Hahahahaha
Dr Lurvepunk took a picture of us as we walked back. :)As he walked me back to my room, I asked him what he would be doing next. He said that he was going to go to sleep. I told him that I had to do research for a presentation and couldn't go to sleep yet. He told me that he would be dreaming of me when he sleep. We reached infront of my door and I gave him a hug. But as we embraced, he whispered in my ear,"More Courage cherie". Before I could ask him what the heck he meant by that I received a call on my mobile from Cindy. Darn! Arrgh!
I don't know what he meant by what he said. I asked Sadie about it and she reckoned that he wanted me to give him a peck. I asked Nyonya about it but she said to just ask him about. Dr Lurvepunk told me to wait for an opportune moment to ask him. I am so confused and I don't know what to do.
Arrgh, been saying that a lot. I feel it is the perfect word to describe how I am feeling since last night... It was my dear neighbour's 20th birthday. We went down to The Last Drop again to celebrate her birthday. We got there at about a quarter to 11.. He wasn't there yet.... I sat down with a drink and waited for the rest of the gang to appear. Arrgh.... I have been avoiding him for a couple of days...I don't know why... Perhaps I was trying to trick myself into not caring about him anymore...I guess I almost succeeded...Almost..
He sauntered in at twenty past 11. He looked dishevelled and pretty much half-dead. But still had the "look" about him.... The "look", cute nerd boy look... sigh... Hugged the birthday girl and basically started to work the room. He really can make everyone feel comfortable. Everyone... except for me...
I couldn't stand it anymore and went on the dance floor with Koz. Music was not one would call exceptional, but it will do just to get me away from him. But....after a while, he came over and danced with us. He seriously have a particular way of dancing that I guess is very "special". Hahahahaha
Dr Lurvepunk took a picture of us as we walked back. :)As he walked me back to my room, I asked him what he would be doing next. He said that he was going to go to sleep. I told him that I had to do research for a presentation and couldn't go to sleep yet. He told me that he would be dreaming of me when he sleep. We reached infront of my door and I gave him a hug. But as we embraced, he whispered in my ear,"More Courage cherie". Before I could ask him what the heck he meant by that I received a call on my mobile from Cindy. Darn! Arrgh!
I don't know what he meant by what he said. I asked Sadie about it and she reckoned that he wanted me to give him a peck. I asked Nyonya about it but she said to just ask him about. Dr Lurvepunk told me to wait for an opportune moment to ask him. I am so confused and I don't know what to do.
Friday, October 18, 2002
Along the winding path to The Last Drop
It's the early hours of Friday, and I've got 18 hours until I meet up with him. I seriously think that the more I spent time with him, the much more harder it will be when we each go our separate ways. Although I will have sweet memories, I believe that they would turn back and torment me. He does not know how I feel about him.
Dr Luvpunk, our resident psychologist in the making plays a YENTA role in all of these. She thinks that it would be good for me to tell him how I felt when he leaves..... But where would that leave me with? Other than the satisfaction and relief that he knew the truth there lies another factor not uncovered. What would he think of me? I don't think I can handle this rejection if it occurs. "Ah, yes", is what I use when talking about him with my friends. Would his reaction to my disclosure be "Ah, yes" as well? I wish it would be......
I had an hour and a half of sleep the night before and about two hours of sleep before that. Right now, I think the brain cells are probably commiting "Hara-Kiri". My right brain tells me to continue writing, whilst my left brain's commanding me to go and sleep. When I sleep Ihave been having these dreams which involve "Ah, yes", most of the time. One dream, I awake on my bed and see him sitting at my desk watching me sleep. Last night in his room I realised that we were actually poles apart. Separated by the continents and by our personal beliefs but I must always remember and consider the effects of the choices we choose to make. The path not taken may not always be the easy path to achieve a sense of love and well-being.
It's the early hours of Friday, and I've got 18 hours until I meet up with him. I seriously think that the more I spent time with him, the much more harder it will be when we each go our separate ways. Although I will have sweet memories, I believe that they would turn back and torment me. He does not know how I feel about him.
Dr Luvpunk, our resident psychologist in the making plays a YENTA role in all of these. She thinks that it would be good for me to tell him how I felt when he leaves..... But where would that leave me with? Other than the satisfaction and relief that he knew the truth there lies another factor not uncovered. What would he think of me? I don't think I can handle this rejection if it occurs. "Ah, yes", is what I use when talking about him with my friends. Would his reaction to my disclosure be "Ah, yes" as well? I wish it would be......
I had an hour and a half of sleep the night before and about two hours of sleep before that. Right now, I think the brain cells are probably commiting "Hara-Kiri". My right brain tells me to continue writing, whilst my left brain's commanding me to go and sleep. When I sleep Ihave been having these dreams which involve "Ah, yes", most of the time. One dream, I awake on my bed and see him sitting at my desk watching me sleep. Last night in his room I realised that we were actually poles apart. Separated by the continents and by our personal beliefs but I must always remember and consider the effects of the choices we choose to make. The path not taken may not always be the easy path to achieve a sense of love and well-being.
Thursday, October 17, 2002
Spring Shower
Thursday evening as usual I am lounging on my bed. The weekend has just begun but what is there to look forward to? Finals are right around the corner and yet I am still in the same position I was when I moved to Australia eight months ago. Am I happy or am I sad? I am not sure at all.
At times I am overjoyed when I see him smile and other times I get so melancholic when I think about the fact that he is moving away. "Three months will go by fast", I keep telling myself. But how will I see him and how will I ever tell him the truth? Perhaps tommorow, perhaps Saturday.... perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
But what is this feeling that I have that whenever he smiles, my heart skips a beat? Is this love or just an infatuation that doesn't go away. I will let the spring rains wash my sadness away. I will spend as much time as I can with him, to give me memories that I will cherish when he is no longer around.
Thursday evening as usual I am lounging on my bed. The weekend has just begun but what is there to look forward to? Finals are right around the corner and yet I am still in the same position I was when I moved to Australia eight months ago. Am I happy or am I sad? I am not sure at all.
At times I am overjoyed when I see him smile and other times I get so melancholic when I think about the fact that he is moving away. "Three months will go by fast", I keep telling myself. But how will I see him and how will I ever tell him the truth? Perhaps tommorow, perhaps Saturday.... perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
But what is this feeling that I have that whenever he smiles, my heart skips a beat? Is this love or just an infatuation that doesn't go away. I will let the spring rains wash my sadness away. I will spend as much time as I can with him, to give me memories that I will cherish when he is no longer around.
