Friday, October 18, 2002
Along the winding path to The Last Drop
It's the early hours of Friday, and I've got 18 hours until I meet up with him. I seriously think that the more I spent time with him, the much more harder it will be when we each go our separate ways. Although I will have sweet memories, I believe that they would turn back and torment me. He does not know how I feel about him.
Dr Luvpunk, our resident psychologist in the making plays a YENTA role in all of these. She thinks that it would be good for me to tell him how I felt when he leaves..... But where would that leave me with? Other than the satisfaction and relief that he knew the truth there lies another factor not uncovered. What would he think of me? I don't think I can handle this rejection if it occurs. "Ah, yes", is what I use when talking about him with my friends. Would his reaction to my disclosure be "Ah, yes" as well? I wish it would be......
I had an hour and a half of sleep the night before and about two hours of sleep before that. Right now, I think the brain cells are probably commiting "Hara-Kiri". My right brain tells me to continue writing, whilst my left brain's commanding me to go and sleep. When I sleep Ihave been having these dreams which involve "Ah, yes", most of the time. One dream, I awake on my bed and see him sitting at my desk watching me sleep. Last night in his room I realised that we were actually poles apart. Separated by the continents and by our personal beliefs but I must always remember and consider the effects of the choices we choose to make. The path not taken may not always be the easy path to achieve a sense of love and well-being.
It's the early hours of Friday, and I've got 18 hours until I meet up with him. I seriously think that the more I spent time with him, the much more harder it will be when we each go our separate ways. Although I will have sweet memories, I believe that they would turn back and torment me. He does not know how I feel about him.
Dr Luvpunk, our resident psychologist in the making plays a YENTA role in all of these. She thinks that it would be good for me to tell him how I felt when he leaves..... But where would that leave me with? Other than the satisfaction and relief that he knew the truth there lies another factor not uncovered. What would he think of me? I don't think I can handle this rejection if it occurs. "Ah, yes", is what I use when talking about him with my friends. Would his reaction to my disclosure be "Ah, yes" as well? I wish it would be......
I had an hour and a half of sleep the night before and about two hours of sleep before that. Right now, I think the brain cells are probably commiting "Hara-Kiri". My right brain tells me to continue writing, whilst my left brain's commanding me to go and sleep. When I sleep Ihave been having these dreams which involve "Ah, yes", most of the time. One dream, I awake on my bed and see him sitting at my desk watching me sleep. Last night in his room I realised that we were actually poles apart. Separated by the continents and by our personal beliefs but I must always remember and consider the effects of the choices we choose to make. The path not taken may not always be the easy path to achieve a sense of love and well-being.
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